I have multiple fears, but there is one that is new to me. It is the fear of going back to that long dark tunnel. The dark tunnel that is like a maze that never ends. I don’t care if this is a dumb analogy but this is how I can describe it, and it scares me. Last night I realized this fear, but I know it’s been with me for quite awhile now. Everyday I am moving closer and closer to this tunnel, but I try my best not to enter it. It is sort of acting like a magnet… trying to pull me back in as I try to stay strong and resist it. I know that if I go back in, it’ll take forever to get out of it again like before. It’s painful too. I guess in a way, it is also my fault. I don’t know how to handle things well so I’ve been letting it build up if I do not cut it away, but now, it’s getting to heavy. I can tell I am growing weak and the tunnel is pulling me closer and closer. I don’t want to go back in, but the pain I have felt before is returning, and it scares me. I know I can stay strong at heart, but I can’t say that my mentality is. I can’t control it and what I feel. I don’t want to say that it’s not normal but I really don’t think it is.
I have no clue why I am typing this. Honestly. But oh well. I really don’t have anything to lose.
But yeah. that’s my fear, that’s who I am, and… yeah.
I don’t know what y’all think, but that cat looks pretty angry.